Help If You Are Hurting Someone

Are you concerned that your behaviour towards your partner is costing you your relationship? Are you worried your children are witnessing too many arguments between their parents?

It’s ok to ask for help and support is available.

People from all walks of life become offenders of domestic abuse and, much like victims, there are no restrictions on who commits these offences.
It can be tough facing up to difficult problems. We can support you to make the changes that you need, so that your partner and children if you have any can be safe around you.

The Respect website includes information about domestic violence and abuse. Respect encourage you to think hard and face up honestly to the things that you have done. Visit the website at

You might have done some things only once or twice, but in many cases you’ll notice that there is a pattern to the abusive things you do. By making yourself more aware of your abusive behaviours it will become easier to make changes and stop. However, changing abusive behaviours is a long and difficult process.

The Respect website is not designed as an alternative to a specialist perpetrator programme, however. We encourage you to get in touch with your local project so that you can get some support.

Visit the Getting Help page.
Why communities need to work with domestic violence perpetrators
Support services for victims and children are vital but unless communities engage directly with perpetrators, domestic violence will not stop. This is because:

  • Many perpetrators don’t come into contact with the criminal justice system.
  • Even if they are convicted and imprisoned, they will soon be back in the community, often back in the same family.
  • Most perpetrators have ongoing contact with their children, even if the relationship has ended.
  • When one relationship ends, most perpetrators have other relationships, creating new victims.
  • One of the requests from some victims is for someone to work with their partner, to help them change and to keep them safe from his violence.