Thinking about someone you have a relationship with, would you say that it is generally true that he or she:

1. Does things that frighten you in any way?
2. Makes you feel nervous around them or scared of what they are going to say or do
3. Has physically hurt you
4. Makes you feel anxious, ashamed or humiliated?
5. Makes you feel bad if you don’t want sex
6. Tries to make you do sexual things that you don’t want to do or which hurt or frighten you?
7. Calls you names or laughs at you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable?
8. Destroys your property?
9. Expects to be able to borrow or take money off you whenever they want and not pay it back?
10. Tries to make you do things you don’t want to do?
11. Insists on knowing where you are all the time
12. Always accompanies you everywhere
13. Tells you that if you behaved differently, they wouldn’t have to abuse you?
14. Says they think it is OK for someone to hit or frighten their partner, or excuses someone who has?
15. Tells you they have the right to do certain things to you, because you are in a relationship?
16. Behaves badly towards your children or threatens to treat them badly?
17. Is often suspicious that you are unfaithful or disloyal?
18. Expects you to ask permission before you seek health care for yourself, or your children?
19. Tells you what to wear or what not to wear, making it clear that you can’t disagree?
20. Makes you feel ashamed of your tastes in music or clothes?
21. Makes fun of you in front of their friends or yours?
22. Tries to stop you from seeing particular friends?
23. Criticises you or makes you feel bad about yourself?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. None of these types of behaviours are normal, no matter what someone tries to tell you. If you are experiencing any of these behaviours then the earlier you seek help, the better for you and your children.