Help for men who abuse their partners (taken from the Respect website)

‘Sometimes when we argue and I shout at my partner she is scared of me’

‘I slapped her once and I promised myself it would never happen again – but I hit her again…’

‘I get angry with her and I totally lose it…’

Do you recognise yourself in any of that? Are you concerned that your behaviour towards your partner is costing you your relationship? Are you worried your children are witnessing too many arguments between their parents?

Asking for help for violence and abuse

It can be tough facing up to difficult problems. We can support you make the changes you need, so that you are safe around your partner and children (if you have them).

The Respect website includes information about domestic violence and abuse. We encourage you to think hard and face up honestly to the things you have done.
You might have done some things only once or twice, but in many cases you’ll notice that there is a pattern to the abusive things you do. By making yourself more aware of your abusive behaviours it will become easier to make changes and stop. However, changing abusive behaviours is a long and difficult process. This Respect website can go as far as making you aware of some aspects of the problem. It is not designed as an alternative to a specialist perpetrator programme. We encourage you to get in touch with your local project so that you can get some support. Even if such a programme is not available in your local area it is still your responsibility to own up to your
abuse and try to change. Click here for Respects ‘I need help’ pages.   Respect can be contacted on 0808 802 4040

Women can be violent or abusive towards their partners too. Although it is generally acknowledged that the majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men against women, it happens the other way round too. The Respect Phoneline is available for women who have concerns about the way they behave towards their partners. They have also produced information booklets for women in heterosexual relationships and women in same sex relationships. For more information click here

Why communities need to work with domestic violence perpetrators

Respect believes that practice experience and analysis of rigorous research demonstrates that a thorough understanding of the complex dynamics of gender is vital to responding effectively to domestic violence. Without this understanding, the nature, incidence, demographics and other factors of domestic violence cannot be explained and responses to victims, perpetrators and children will usually be inadequate and often unsafe. Effective work with perpetrators and victims of domestic violence therefore has to include an integrated understanding of the influence of gender. Respects Postion Statement on gender and doemstic violence.

Support services for victims and children are vital. Refuges, Independent Domestic Violence Advisors (IDVAs) and outreach services save and improve lives every day. And a robust criminal justice system has a crucial role to play in administering justice and protecting current and future victims. But unless communities engage directly with perpetrators, domestic violence will not stop.

• Many perpetrators don’t come into contact with the criminal justice system.
• Even if they are convicted and imprisoned, they will soon be back in the community, often back in the same family.
• Most perpetrators have ongoing contact with their children, even if the relationship with the child’s mother has ended.
• When one relationship ends, most perpetrators have other relationships, creating new victims.
• One of the requests from some victims is for someone to work with their partner, to help him change and to keep them safe from his violence.

For   Respects document ‘Working with the cause of the problem’ click here For more information on Respect’s services www.respect.uk.net/

Voluntary programmes for perpetrators in Greater Manchester

Manchester –  Barnardo’s North West are working with Manchester City Council Domestic Violence Intervention Pilot – to run a pilot programme for families where there has been violence used by a male partner against a female partner, and where the man wants support to change his behaviour. Details of criteria  Barnardo’s PP Manchester 

The programme is now closed for new referrals, but more information about the programme can be sought by contacting Abby Ogier – abby.ogier@barnardos.org.uk  07795 262833  updated Dec. 2011

 Salford – Relate

 Violence Prevention Project –  Bridging to Change Building Safe Relationships 0161 877 8264. This service can be accessed from within the Greater Manchester area and also from surrounding areas where local authorities, agencies or the individuals themselves agree to pay the violence prevention project charges for all weekly sessions during the programme. A programme to assist men who use violence and abuse in their intimate relationships:

• to take responsibility for their behaviour and change their behaviour and attitude towards women and children  Bridging to Change June 2010

Bridging to Safety: Women’s Safety Service  0161 877 8264 – A service for women and their children whose partner/ex partner has been referred to the Violence Prevention Project (see above)  Bridging To Safety 6page V2 June 2010

Bury –  Hope Fellowship voluntary  perpetrators programme leaflet Bury DV PP

Currenlty the other seven Greater Manchetser areas do not have a voluntary perpetrators programme – October 2011