Are you abusive? http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/am-i-abusive
Help for men who abuse their partners (taken from the Respect website)
Help for men who abuse their female partners
‘Sometimes when we argue I shout at her. She is scared of me’
‘I slapped her once and I promised myself it would never happen – but it did…’
‘I get angry with her and I totally lose it…’
Do you recognise yourself in any of this? Are you concerned that your behaviour towards your partner is costing you your relationship? Are you worried your children are witnessing too many arguments?
Asking for help for violence and abuse
It can be tough facing up to difficult problems. We can help you make the changes you need, so that you are safe around your partner and children. Changing abusive behaviours is a long and difficult process. The information on this website aims to help you understand the problem and hopefully start to make some changes.
What is abuse?
Abuse is something that is said or done that hurts another person physically, emotionally, sexually or mentally. Domestic violence is a number of abusive behaviours, both physical and non-physical, that may occur frequently or infrequently. In most cases there is pattern of abuse.
→Call us and we’ll help you understand your own pattern of violence and abuse.
Why does abuse happen?
Abuse doesn’t just happen. Rather than being about loss of control, as a lot of people think, most of the time it’s about you trying to be in control.
→Call us and we’ll help you understand how your violence and abuse is about you trying to be in control.
Effects of your abuse
It’s important to face up to how your behaviour affects your partner and your children. The more you can understand what your behaviour is like for her, the harder it will be to behave badly towards her in future.
→How would you feel if someone treated you the way you’ve treated your partner?
What can you do? What help is available?
Talk about it
A problem shared is a problem halved.
→Call the Respect Phoneline and our advisors will listen to you and help you.
Your call is anonymous and confidential. Call freephone 0808 802 4040 Monday-Friday 9am-5pm or email [email protected]
Understand and try to change
As a short-term solution you can read the following documents:
Spot the warning signs, take a Time-Out!
Choose to stop-for men (32-page booklet)
Voluntary programmes for perpetrators in Greater Manchester
Manchester – Barnardo’s North West are working with Manchester City Council Domestic Violence Intervention Pilot – to run a pilot programme for families where there has been violence used by a male partner against a female partner, and where the man wants support to change his behaviour. Details of criteria Barnardo’s PP Manchester
The programme is now closed for new referrals, but more information about the programme can be sought by contacting Abby Ogier – [email protected] 07795 262833
Violence Prevention Project – Bridging to Change Building Safe Relationships 0161 877 8264. This service can be accessed from within the Greater Manchester area and also from surrounding areas where local authorities, agencies or the individuals themselves agree to pay the violence prevention project charges for all weekly sessions during the programme. A programme to assist men who use violence and abuse in their intimate relationships:
to take responsibility for their behaviour and change their behaviour and attitude towards women and children. Please see below for further information
Bridging to Safety: Women’s Safety Service 0161 877 8264 – A service for women and their children whose partner/ex partner has been referred to the Violence Prevention Project (see above) Bridging To Safety 6page V2 June 2010
Bury – Hope Fellowship voluntary perpetrators programme leaflet Bury DV PP
Currently the other seven Greater Manchester areas do not have a voluntary perpetrators programme – October 2011