Information for abusers

Are you abusive?
Help for men who abuse their partners (taken from the Respect website)
Help for men who abuse their female partners
‘Sometimes when we argue I shout at her. She is scared of me’
‘I slapped her once and I promised myself it would never happen – but it did…’
‘I get angry with her and I totally lose it…’
Do you recognise yourself in any of this? Are you concerned that your behaviour towards your partner is costing you your relationship? Are you worried your children are witnessing too many arguments?
Asking for help for violence and abuse
It can be tough facing up to difficult problems. We can help you make the changes you need, so that you are safe around your partner and children. Changing abusive behaviours is a long and difficult process. The information on this website aims to help you understand the problem and hopefully start to make some changes.
What is abuse?
Abuse is something that is said or done that hurts another person physically, emotionally, sexually or mentally. Domestic violence is a number of abusive behaviours, both physical and non-physical, that may occur frequently or infrequently. In most cases there is pattern of abuse.

Call us and we’ll help you understand your own pattern of violence and abuse.
Why does abuse happen?
Abuse doesn’t just happen. Rather than being about loss of control, as a lot of people think, most of the time it’s about you trying to be in control.

Call us and we’ll help you understand how your violence and abuse is about you trying to be in control.
Effects of your abuse
It’s important to face up to how your behaviour affects your partner and your children. The more you can understand what your behaviour is like for her, the harder it will be to behave badly towards her in future.

How would you feel if someone treated you the way you’ve treated your partner?
What can you do? What help is available?
Talk about it
A problem shared is a problem halved.

Call the Respect Phoneline and our advisors will listen to you and help you.
Your call is anonymous and confidential. Call freephone 0808 802 4040 Monday-Friday 9am-5pm or email [email protected]

Understand and try to change
As a short-term solution you can read the following documents:

Spot the warning signs, take a Time-Out!
Managing Jealousy
Choose to stop-for men (32-page booklet)

Voluntary programmes for perpetrators in Greater Manchester

Manchester – Barnardo’s North West are working with Manchester City Council Domestic Violence Intervention Pilot – to run a pilot programme for families where there has been violence used by a male partner against a female partner, and where the man wants support to change his behaviour. Details of criteria Barnardo’s PP Manchester

The programme is now closed for new referrals, but more information about the programme can be sought by contacting Abby Ogier – [email protected] 07795 262833

TLC: Talk, Listen, Change

Bridging to Change Domestic Abuse Services at TLC: Talk, Listen, Change,  work with men and women who feel that they may be abusive in their intimate relationship at the same time as offering integrated support services for both partners/ex partners and children. Our Domestic Violence Prevention Programme (DVPP) was fully Respect accredited in 2014 and assist’s those who use violence and abuse in their intimate relationships: to take responsibility for their actions and work towards changing their attitudes and behaviour towards their partners and children. For more information call 0161 8721100 or

Bury – Hope Fellowship voluntary perpetrators programme leaflet Bury DV PP
Currently the other seven Greater Manchester areas do not have a voluntary perpetrators programme – October 2011


The Respect Phoneline offers an information and advice service for people who have been abusive towards their partners. Respect is also a registered charity and national membership organisation promoting best practice for domestic violence perpetrator programmes and associated support services in the UK. Please contact or visit the web site for further information. Hours Monday to Friday 10.00 - 13.00… Continue reading