All forms of abuse come from the abuser’s desire for power and control and responsibility for domestic abuse always lies with the abuser. It is never the fault of the victim.

The abuse can be actual or threatened and can happen once every so often or on a regular basis. People don’t have to be physically abused to be experiencing domestic abuse. Domestic abuse can include:

Physical Abuse

This could include hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, hitting with objects; pulling hair; pushing or shoving, cutting or stabbing; restraining; strangulation; choking; right through to murder.

Sexual Abuse

This could include rape and coerced sex; forcing you to take part in unwanted sexual acts, refusal to practice safe sex or use contraception; threats to sexually abuse children, and threatened, or actual, sexual abuse of children.

Financial Abuse

This could include controlling money and bank accounts; making you account for all expenditure; not letting you have enough money to make ends meet; running up debts in your name; no negotiation on how household monies are spent; refusing to allow you to study or work.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can leave you with little confidence that you can do anything to change the situation. It can include not allowing you to see other people, or go anywhere on your own and use of threats e.g. threats to kill your family, children, friends, pets; to throw you out and keep the children; to find you if you ever leave; to have you locked up; to tell everyone you are mad. It can also include putting you down - humiliating and undermining in front of others, or in front of your children, telling you you are stupid, hopeless, unlovable, that you are a bad parent and that no one would believe you.